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What the Lord is teaching me

 - I need to work and pay attention to my selfishness - I declare when I do not want to become something  - No matter where you are in life emotionally (high, or low) seek Him. Always seek Him. That will never be the wrong answer  - there is power in trusting God  - Yesterday I learned about generational patterns (not curses). There are generational behaviors that are not our fault but it is our choice to stop it. The generational pattern in my family is selfishness. From both sides of my family, there is severe selfishness. It is up to me to break that so that I don't del with it either and make my kids go through it - I realized that I hear the Lord the most (or I draw closest to Him) when I feel I am at my lowest. Take advantage of that and open your eyes to see and ears to hear  - he is teaching me how to take the secret place more seriously  - that respect for my parents should go over any need for justice  - BE SLOW TO SPEAK AND SLOW TO ANGER...
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Dear Sophia, This is the answer

 Dear Sophia,  I love you so much that I don't want you to go through ANYTHING but unfortunately, we have to from time to time to really prune us to who we will be in the future. Just remember, confusion is from the enemy and not from the Lord. If anything that comes to your mind strikes fear, it is not from the Lord. Fear does not come from the lord, respect does. So if you ever find yourself spiraling into lots of questions, take it to the Lord in prayer. Write it down. Eventually, you will understand- you don't need to know everything because God knows. So put your faith in that He has it all together so that you don't have to. But i highly encourage you to bring everything to Him. Seek Him more than you ever have, because there is always breakthrough in the breaking. Some, more than others, but rant to HIM. Don't stay stuck because that will frustrate you. You are not a woman of negativity, you are so wonderful in so many ways. If you feel like you are losing yourse...
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Things I know to be true pt.2 (A love letter to myself)

 I have come to a place in my life where I have fallen into a pit that made me confront the harsh realization that I need some self love and self care. I have not been the main character in my life and I need to take the precautions to get back into the place where I can start feeling like myself again. The good news is, I have not been in this position for a long time; so it is easy to reverse. It should be pretty easy for me to be the center of attention in my own life (note: I want to be the center of attention in MY life, not everyone else's life). The problem is that I need to act fact to get me into the "self-love" mindset soon, this feeling could get very dark very soon. For the sake of the enemy not touching me this upcoming week, I need to think of the light and be with the light (the Lord). The enemy is not where the light is, and the Lord is not where the dark is. This week I have not been myself whatsoever. I have felt insecure, and became full of self-doubt. ...
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Things I know to be true

 Today is a rainy day and I am finding it especially hard to stay positive. As a counter-attack to negative thoughts, I have decided to make a list of things that make me happy in order to practice gratuity in the lows. 1) I love movies that remind me of my childhood ( The Holiday, Forrest Gump, About Time, Grown ups) 2) I love the way listening to movie scores make me feel.  3) I love it when the Lord speaks to me and when I feel His presence.  4) I love when I rant to my parents and they listen and give sound advice (which is all the time) 5) I love playing tennis with my family 6) I love playing games with my family. 7) I love watching my parents drink Mate on the front porch in the afternoon 8) I love watching my dad making my mom laugh 9) I love my dog Maggie, I love watching her sunbathe and get exited to get in the car with me 10) I love it when Luka my brother comes in my room and tells me the tea that goes on in his life.  11) I love getting a good parking s...
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October

 Today I watched the first episode of the Chosen season 2 and I cried again. It is a blessing to view how good the lord was to people who felt like they didn't deserve it, and in my book none of us deserve it. But he does, because he loves. Yesterday I was coming home exhausted out of my mind and wanted to watch a movie, but I can't because I'm fasting. I respected the fast and watched the chosen, and I am so glad I did. Not only did I get a good night's rest, but I went to sleep EARLY, which isn't a common occurrence. That was a true blessing. I am writing this as a reminder for me to not fall into the temptation of watching movies, this is the important part. Keep fighting it. There is something coming. Soph West Side Story
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day 2 - hopefully this becomes a habit

 I have time until noon right now so i decided to go to Starbucks and get my work done. I sat down, opened my laptop and stopped to find myself people watching. It was such a peaceful four seconds that I actually moved to the window so It would look a lot more natural to stare at people rather than in the middle of the cafe, staring off into the distance. I like to try to figure people's backstories based off of what they're wearing. Look into who they're meeting, where they're going, or just what vibe they have in the moment. I found it remarkably peaceful. There is this guy that rides the roller blades to class every day and he always has on this groovy hat and earbuds. He has such a whimsical way of transporting himself. He quite literally dances his way from class to class and doesn't give a crap about other people judging him. I swear it's like a main character in a dream. On another note, I did not want to get out of bed this morning; much less wake up. My...
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